My driver’s license expired a long time ago and I didn’t bother renewing it since I don’t drive myself. Recently however, I thought that it would be good to start driving myself again. I made enquiries from someone who just renewed as to how to renew my driver’s license. He gave me a contact of someone he claimed worked at the licensing office.
“Good morning Oga I got your number from Femi. He said you can put me through in renewing my driver’s license. It expired a long time ago.” It was a phone call.
“Ohhhh Femi! He’s my very good friend. Yes I know him. Femi is a good boy.” He sounded like he was eating. Mouth-full and taking an official call.
“So what do I need to do? Should I come to your office today with passport photographs?” I was impatient with all the familiarity.
“No not yet. First I need to know which one you want to do. Then you transfer the money to me before I will tell you what day to come to the office to fill a form.”
“How do you mean which one I want to do? Oga I want to renew my driver’s license.” His explanation made the process complicated to me.
“Ok which one do you want? Normal or express? Normal is #8500 and takes time. Express is #14, 000 and within a week it will be ready.” He said clearing his throat of food.
“But I read on the internet that it will cost #6500.” I just could not understand the price hike.
“Madam, how much did Femi tell you he did his own? You could have gone to the internet pay #6500 and do it there. Why did you call me? Mtchew!” Obviously offended he ended the call.
I immediately called Femi and explained my conversation with this driver’s license guy.
“Why are you behaving like JJC (a word for novice)? Send the guy 14k and by this time next week you have it ready.” That was Femi’s response.
That same evening Judith called me asking me about how to get a new Nigerian passport. I had to prepare her.
“Judith you are either going to do it Normal or Express. Let me call Usman, he charged me 21k then but I didn’t ask because I urgently needed the passport.” I guess Usman did express for me.
“Hello Usman, my friend want to do passport but she wants to know how much first.”
“If it’s normal it’s #7500, she will fill the form on internet and go submit it at the office. She will be given a date to come to the office and capture, then it will be ready in three weeks or more because we don’t have booklet. Express is 20k I will do everything she will just come and capture that it will be ready not more than 48 hours. I know how to get the booklet from Abuja.” Really?
After narrating to Judith the Normal and the Express procedures, she decided that for the rest of her stay in Lagos everything will be EXPRESS!
I am sure you know what I am talking about